My Perfect Life

I talk a lot about where I am and where I want to be but for the most part I am an inherent realist and I know deep within me that nothing is ever perfect, things take a long time to figure out their path even with little pushes and major shoves along the way and when those elements slot into place there's always something that will misalign a little unexpectedly. I know that even the most seemingly beautiful lifestyles aren't completely glossed behind closed doors and while I know this, right in my core, I can't help but to imagine my own perfect life. Had someone asked me ten years ago where I'd be in ten years time I would have undoubtedly have conjured up an image for you that portrayed me as the embodiment of Carrie Bradshaw in a big city without writers block and with a few close friends for a late night cocktail living my dream. Now? Now is different for many reasons and in many, many ways and so I thought I'd share with you my ideological future mapped out in words.

I'd love to always be in love both with love and with a person. I hope to be married so in the future I can be one of those women who proudly announces how long they've been married with a slight tinge of self-congratulation in their tone. I wish to always have family surrounding me that truly love and respect each other despite the inevitable and numerous differences between them and I would have raised two excellent people to send out into the world with love, respect, gratitude and knowledge. I hope for my girls to be smart in many more ways than I have been to this point and for them to be surrounded with love and respect in order to give it as they grow. Love would always prevail and stick around even when times would get tough in all its incarnations.

Ideally I'd have a four bedroomed house that I owned on the outskirts of a city where you could taste fresh air but wouldn't have to venture too far in for everything you'd need. I dream of farmers markets and neighbours who all greet each other by name, fresh flowers wrapped in newspaper sold outside in silver buckets and of walks where your feet don't once hit a manmade material. I think of a big open fire in the lounge, assorted jars of homemade jam on the countertops, rugs under my feet on the stone floor and winding staircases. The decor would change undoubtedly with the years and seasons but have a solid theme of light and airy colours mixed with bold prints, solid wood and textures in fabrics. We'd be able to keep dogs that were free to run in a safe space and there'd be that perfect spot at the kitchen table where the light hits just so and illuminates the morning paper and coffee filled mug that would be a sanctuary every morning.

In an ideal world I'd have no health concerns and that would pass down to everyone I loved and cared about but I'm going to be a realist just for a moment and say that I dream of good health, not perfect health. I want to be able to eat fresh foods and hike for miles, take bike rides in the afternoon sunshine and skip rocks on a pebble beach without any consequences. I'd practice yoga near the big bay window that would be the focal point in our living room complete with a window seat and be much more graceful and honed than I am at it right now. I'd live my life in good health without being devoid of eating well and if I'm honest, I don't ask for much from this area as I know how incredibly lucky I am to feel good three days out of seven right now. Seven days out of seven would be divine.

This, to me, is the ultimate. I'd love to be in a job where I am my own boss and create my own hours but earn enough money to be comfortable without being devoid of luxuries in my life. I'd love to own a boutique or bar - in this world, why not both? - plus work by writing novels, articles and running a blog or something similar in the future. I want to constantly create and advise so with everything working together I'd just want to build a tiny empire that always keeps me busy, on my toes and dreaming of the next step. I don't ever want to become complacent with what I do or forget how lucky I am that I can create in such a way that people would pay me to do what I love so much. I crave the 2am clock glances where I'm still working but I crave the next day and sleeping in until 10am and celebrating tiny successes with friends over wine. That work/life balance that is seen to me now as mythological would be the reality and I would consistently be stimulated enough that if one bled into the other it would only feed it.

While I don't think my perfect life is unachievable in most respects I do think it's highly unlikely to turn out this way. I'm in that stage of my life smack in the middle of my twenties with what I hope to be very many years ahead of me and I feel in a bit of a rut. While things are looking up in many respects things are also so very far out of my reach and even something as simple for some as owning a house seems like it may never happen. I know that it might. I know that with hard work, dedication, inspiration and a big dose of luck that I could achieve quite a lot in the time I have left but things do seem rather bleak with debts piling up, work settling down and paying my dues that I could have and possibly should have been paying for many years already weighing on my shoulders.

However, I also know that ten years ago fifteen year old me would be sitting here writing a very different chapter in a very long story that is only through a quarter of a century. Even if I only make it to fifty there is still another half left to live that I haven't experienced yet and those experiences have yet to shape me. Where will I be in ten years? Well, I hope to be sat writing somewhere looking back at twenty five year old me thinking this was the time that set it all in motion but if I look back and think 'Who was I?' Well, maybe that will be great too.