There comes a point in life where you're awake at 2am cradling a mug of coffee with nothing but the ideals of your life swimming around your head. For the pro-active among us it's all about putting small steps into motion right there and then and working on them consistently until they're fulfilled. If you're anything like me, you need a little help, a little direction and a rather large push to make those ideals your day to day reality.
In the past year or so my life has changed slowly but exponentially just because one early morning at 2am cradling that mug of coffee I decided it had to. I lusted after the lives of others and began to realise that my limitations weren't as big as I'd once thought of them and it was my own fear and lack of motivation to put in the work that was really holding me back. Things are still changing at a slow pace but I'm on the path that I think is the best for me right now. People have asked about how I did it and so I thought I'd share in a little series tips on how to design your life and maybe it'll inspire someone to make a change as it did for me.
Think of the first stage as the outline of your design where you're starting to add the main components. Discover what's the most important to you - family, financial security, a large social group, a career - and add those to the top of your list. This is the frame for your life, your constants and the thing that you will build upon. For me it all revolves around family as the number one on my list.
From there add in the elements you want surrounding that. Personally I'm all about a having enough money to live on, living a creative life doing what I love, feeling good on the inside and outside and aesthetically pleasing surroundings. Lots of factors come into this from working late into the night on new projects, surrounding myself with intelligent and creative people who continually inspire me, being able to sacrifice things in order to obtain others (mostly financially) and working on myself. At this time, just figure out the shell of your life without the interweaving elements that make it full and whole.
I like to think of it as a circle. The outer circle will be the main components that make you happy, feel safe and meet your basic needs (food, safety, shelter) but keep it structured to the main points. Inside the outer circle will be a slightly smaller circle that will house the next steps - careers, hobbies, day to day life - you know, the things that take up your time. Inside that there'll be another circle and so on and so forth each with their own layer of you, your morals, values and how you want to shape your life.
Draw it out on a piece of paper. Make it a circle or a hierarchy inside a pyramid or just a list; whatever best represents to you the idea that there are layers and stages to designing your life. Write one main goal for each constant underneath and choose to focus on making better to begin with. Realise that this isn't going to happen overnight and that you don't have to complete an entire life plan in a matter of days; that this can be built on and you can adapt it at whatever point you choose. This is your life you're planning out, your life you're changing and there will be some speed bumps along the way that force you to sit down and re-evaluate both your priorities and your general outlook. That's not a bad thing and can be extremely helpful because nothing is ever static. This life you want now may not be entirely the life you want in five years time. To me, that's the importance of the foundation and working out what exactly defines your life from your core - what motivates you, what drives you and what you feel you need no matter what to be able to say at the end of the day 'Well, at least I have ...'
One of your core points could be that you want a solid family structure but maybe you don't have that yet. Realise that this is your ideal life and it's being built as you design it so if your life isn't that way right now, that doesn't mean it can't happen. One of my core points was essentially in shreds when I first did this visually and I ended up quitting the brief as soon as I'd written that last letter in the word. I didn't think it could work or would ever happen for me but I did come around when I'd thought about it for a few hours. Breaking it down into manageable chunks and small goals really helped me visualise that I could have these things, they just may take a little while to come.
Acknowledge the fact that your life could be lacking in something that you want more than anything else because that can be tackled. Knowing that that's what you want and that's going to be in your plan for your own end game is massive enough without the underlying negativity of the fact that it's nowhere near close to being a reality coming out. That's not to say it won't and even if you end up deciding on five other things in your life, in two years you may not be coming back to it to work on a little more. You will adapt to situations, change your opinions and most of the time change what's most important to you but the imperative thing is that right now, right here you acknowledge what you want in this time.
This isn't designed to be a form of therapy but just to help visualise and achieve goals while realising what it is you want in your life. Sometimes I look around and envy the lives of others but instead of worrying about it, I pick out exactly what it is that I want my life to be from theirs and try and work it in to my life. Some things won't work - jet setting around the world staying in some of the world's most beautiful locations eating amazing food daily, for instance - but I can adapt them to what I want and that's to one day see more of the world and take my own photos of the locations I pore over on Pinterest. I won't set myself the goal of seeing the entirety of the world but I'll break it down to a few key locations and just managing to get there in the next ten years.
Over the series I'll share my ideas on productivity, managing negativity, making a space a home, little ways to change your life, organising your work day, staying inspired, tips on certain subjects that I feel I know a little something about that helped me, motherhood and basically anything else I feel fits into this category that could possibly help someone in a similar situation. But none of this is one size fits all, it's all about you just as this when I do it is all about me and I'm just hoping to be a resource to someone, somewhere struggling to build a life from shaky foundations.
This is such a great post. I think people really need to take the time to focus on their own lives every now and then, what they want, what's important, where they're going...all too often, you see people so caught up in what's directly in front of them that they lose the ability to fully develop their own selves and overall just aren't happy. You said, "Discover what's the most important to you - family, financial security, a large social group, a career - and add those to the top of your list" and I think this really is a good idea. Thinking about it, I used to think that my career was at the top of my list, but through experience I've come to realize that family is actually at the top. It's helped me to change some of the choices I've made and start making decisions differently. I find that once you get to know yourself better, things get put into a more clear perspective :)
ReplyDelete~ Samantha
samsamcherie.blogspot.com
Lots of truth in what you say. I am only part time free lance but hope to be full time one day. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteOops - my comment was meant for the freelancer post.
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