I am an introvert which is a statement that evokes gasps and opposition from people in my life because, well, I'm not shy. I'm confident, quite loud and vibrant but I'm not actually ever shy - just uncomfortable. However I'm not lying, I really am introverted. I can go days without socialising with anyone in person apart from boyfriend and the girls and I like it. I like being at home rather than out, in a small group rather than with people I don't know or a larger group and after that outing I need to go home and be alone for a little while. I like reading books and listening to music and I like it less if I have to talk about it to people other than here on my blog. I'm in my own head a lot, quite neurotic at times but I am an introvert and that's okay.
What's not okay is that lately I have to remind myself to socialise. Boyfriend and I have a great time because we're 100% comfortable and can just sit in a room not speaking and doing different things while still being together because it's what we like to do. If I socialise I can't do that. I want to be involved in conversation, listening to my friends, having fun with them but it's so much effort when I could just stay in this fleecy floral blanket with a mug of coffee and write lists. I venture outside for coffee every now and then or into town but mostly the most outside I get is the school run and cigarettes in the garden. The garden is bare and pretty sparse from the beautiful green plants of the summer and it's pretty much how I feel. I'll awake in the Spring.
So my mission for next week is to go to my best friends flat and have coffee and while I'm there make a date for a real night out where I get dressed up and leave home for hours in the evening. I'm not suggesting to myself a large house party, a packed club or a great big group of distant friends and acquaintances but maybe the smell of beer rather than citrus candles and floor cleaner will wake me up to the fact there's a whole world out there that deserves to be visited more often than I do and neither introversion or anxiety can stop me from having fun once in a while.
I love you immensely for this post. I feel the same. I'm loud and confident, but I am still an introvert. I prefer my own company, sitting at home with a book or in front of the tv, to socialising. The only people I ever make an effort for are boyfriend and my best friend, Darci and that's only because she is exactly the same and makes the effort for me, too. xx
ReplyDeleteI just really love having time to myself too :)
DeleteElla - xo
I should say that I would make the effort to fly to Wales for the chance to socialise with you, and I really hope you'll emerge from your fleecy blanket to meet me if ever I get the chance to! ;) xx
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it's not just me who's like this! It seems like enjoying your own company is something that you can't shout about nowadays because it makes you 'antisocial' but what is so wrong about not depending on others to entertain you 24/7? xx
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly how I feel but I really enjoy my own company most of the time and so many others have said they feel the same!
DeleteElla - xo
Everything in this post describes me too. People find it hard to understand that I can be the confident, loud, sociable person that they know and yet often go into hiding for days at home. I find it very difficult to be around people every day. There always comes a time where I need to be alone. A lot of the time, I choose to spend my days off alone, because that's how I relax, and I think people find it strange. I'm lucky like you, where my fiance is also like this. He and I also sit in the same room and exist seperately very comfortably.
ReplyDeleteI highlighted all of this, amongst other things, in one of my posts, and got more agreement than I was expecting. I also met a lovely blogger who commented on it, who is exactly the same way.
http://jordanaan.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/self-love-its-not-what-you-think-naughty.html << My post, if anyone fancies it.
http://cantshutitup.blogspot.co.uk << The lovely blogger, whose blog I would very much recommend.
It feels as if more and more people are "coming out" as introverts proudly these days, and I love it. Thank you for being one of them.
I can't wait to have a read. Thank you!
DeleteElla - xo
I think it's ok to be introverted and like being alone, but sometimes it can go too far and we can forget to go out and meet people and bask in the joys that socializing can bring. I like a good balance of both really :)) xx
ReplyDeleteThat pretty much sums it all up for me!
DeleteElla - xo
I am totally an introvert. Sometimes when I am talking for someone too long I can literally feel the energy being sucked out of me.
ReplyDeleteElla, I am so glad you wrote this!!! I am such a hermit, I love to go out, eat, drink and socialise BUT every winter I almost go into hibernation and I can happily not leave the house or see another soul other than my dog and husband for days. I get caught up in my own world and imagination and am content!! Like you say, spring comes around and I wake up again and venture out. It's so weird but I am so glad it's not just me!!!! Happy hibernating :)
ReplyDelete